Thursday, July 22, 2010

Guest post: "Two moms are better than none"

Today's guest post is from Kyle Simpson, who writes for a Medical Billing website where you can find more information about a career in the medical coding industry. Thanks Kyle! If you're interested in writing a guest post, or cross-posting, send an e-mail to rosiered23 (at) sparecandy (dot) com.

As the debate rages on over whether or not gay and lesbian couples should legally be allowed to wed, millions of these couples are managing to carve out a life for themselves in committed relationships and turning their eyes towards creating a family and a legacy that so many married couples take for granted.  And once the legislation making gay marriage legal passes (and it will pass), one must wonder where the bigots will throw the next stone.  My guess would be straight at gay and lesbian parents.

The truth is, one parent is better than none and two is better than one.  There is a simple science behind this.  First of all, a child with no parents will have a much harder time forming correctly.  Children who end up in foster care at a young age, bounced around from home to home, may suffer physical and psychological abuse as well as neglect.  While there are plenty of foster families that truly care for their charges and give them a good home, there are just as many unscrupulous individuals who see these children as a meal ticket and nothing more.  The sad fact is, a temporary home is no home at all.

And orphanages are no better.  Do you really believe that a state-run institution can raise a child better than a loving parent?  A ward of the state is really nothing more than a number; a mouth to feed, a brain to standardize, and a body to dress and bed.  These kids are shuffled through the system like cattle and left to fend for themselves, alone and often unskilled, as soon as they reach legal adulthood.  How can that possibly be the best choice for unwanted children?

On the other hand, there are many gay and lesbian couples looking to adopt who face a world of challenges that the average married couple (or even some single parents) would not.  Many organizations (and even entire states) do not allow gay and lesbian couples seeking children to adopt, and it is a huge mistake.  Children thrive when they’re in a loving and stable home, and if there are people in the world who are both willing and able to provide such an environment, it seems antithetical to deny them simply based on their so-called “alternate” lifestyle.  And choosing single parents over a homosexual couple is equally ridiculous.  An adult who has a partner to lean on and consult is going to do a better job of parenting than a single person simply because of the added support (which is not to say that single parents can’t manage, but they certainly can’t be expected to provide the same attention and care as two people).

Let’s face it: the nuclear families of 1950s Americana are a thing of the past.  Dad as the breadwinner and mom as the happy homemaker with 2.5 kids just doesn’t apply anymore.  With broken homes and blended families outweighing the married-for-life mentality, there simply isn’t room for these narrow-minded notions of what a “normal” family should be.  And beyond that, there are over a million lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender parents raising children in the United States today, facing all the same doubts, difficulties, and rewards as countless heterosexual parents, and probably faring equally well, despite the fact that they must do the same job while facing ridicule, hostility, and underhanded bigotry at every turn.  If anything, it seems that they are even more devoted to their chosen path than those of us who take it as a given that we can marry and procreate with whomever we choose.

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